The Cutest

Some days I just have to sit back and marvel at the fact that I can love something as much as I love Connor. A little stinker (literally) who poops, and pees, and cries, and drools, and bites, and throws food on the floor, and breaks things, and costs so much money. How on earth can I love something this rotten so much? I truly believe this is one of those things that parents can tell you about, and how great it will be and how much unconditional love you are going to have, and you think, "Yeah, that's cool." and just kind of move on with your life, not really thinking much about it.

I remember when I was pregnant and people would ask how I felt and how things were going and I would complain about different symptoms depending on the trimester (I will spare you those details) and think, "Ugh, I love being pregnant, but what other kind of havoc can this little thing cause my body to go through?" And then, you go into labor ... and it gets like 1000 times worse. And even still, the baby comes out of you after (presumably) hours of pain and labor and BOOM - you love it! Amazing.

I'm not a mushy person, but when I watch my little bubba scoot across the floor on his hands and knees, noticing his pale, dimply little thighs giggle upon each movement, and then he stops, turns, then plops down on his little diapered tushy and smiles at me with a scrunched up nose and drool stretching down to his chin, I can't help but think: this is as good as it gets.

It sounds cliche. I hate that. But just sitting here thinking about it makes me want to go upstairs and just stare at Connor sleeping in his crib right now, not even caring if I wake him up because then I would get to pick him up and cuddle for a couple minutes (funny how perspectives change on this topic when the baby actually starts sleeping through the night - up until about 6 months, waking Connor up in the middle of the night was NOT a laughing matter - come to think about it, it wasn't until about 6 months that I didn't use every extra second of Connor-sleep-time to just sit/ sleep and relax - certainly not taking the time to do a measly blog!).

Back to the topic - I just wish I could bottle the feelings of watching all of Connor's many "firsts" because I know raising a child only gets harder and more thankless as they grow older. But until someone invents that technology, I'm off to the nursery before I head to bed myself. Jamie is sleeping on the couch "watching" Transformers - guess I'll wake him up.

Once you become a mom, for better or for worse, you suddenly become everyone's mother. If only I had known that, I would have bought way more parenting books! :)